I and some of my friends were analyzing the movie “Kill Boro” on an online platform. There was a lot of back and forth about the quality, nature, and message the movie conveyed. People disagreed, people agreed, and all that.
A teenager reached out to me afterward, saying that he agreed with some of my points. He firmly believed that the genesis of the problem was Boro’s decision to seek comfort in alcohol instead of facing his fears head-on as a man. He was so angry and pained by the whole thing that it got me concerned, when I asked him what was the problem, I found out that his dad is also an alcoholic. After I was able to calm him down, the first question he asked me was, “Why do people get high?”
Why do people get high?
To answer this question, we would not be limiting the concept of “getting high” to substance abuse alone. This discussion will also include emotional misbehavior—those harmful patterns people cling to for liberation, to feel good, or for “freedom.”
To explore this question, we will discuss the following in detail:
- Nature and nurture factors
- Circumstances—the common reasons why
- The battle of the mind
- How to manage and heal from emotional injuries
NATURE AND NURTURE FACTORS
Some argue that emotional misbehavior in humans is entirely inbuilt, believing that it is 100% genetically transferred. I personally disagree with this notion because it suggests that people are conceived with a high tendency for substance abuse, solvent abuse, or emotional misbehavior.
While I do not completely rule out the role of nature—since some emotional misbehavior can be genetically transferred—I believe nurture plays a far greater role. I would estimate it as a 30:70 ratio: 30% nature and 70% nurture.
The environment plays a crucial role in shaping behavior. Even if someone has a genetic predisposition to emotional misbehavior, a supportive and stable environment can mitigate the impact of these tendencies, whereas a stressful or chaotic environment may exacerbate them.
Albert Bandura, a scholar in psychology, provides insights into emotional misbehavior through his work on social learning theory and self-regulation. His theory suggests that emotional misbehavior can arise when individuals fail to effectively regulate their emotions or when they have learned maladaptive emotional responses from their environment.
THE BATTLE OF THE MIND
Whenever we feel good, happy, loved, or accepted, our brain takes note. Likewise, when we feel stressed, drained, nervous, or uncomfortable, the brain also registers this. The brain’s automatic response is to suggest means of comfort.
This struggle sometimes turns into a severe battle of the mind, in which only an intentional mind can emerge victorious. Intentional people because they train their minds on what to seek as comfort when feeling down, rather than allowing their flesh to dictate their actions.
Dr. David Ogbueli once said in a message, “The flesh (body) is a gift given to us by God to help us achieve our purpose on earth. Just like our cars or phones, they are meant to be our servants. But if we make the body the master, it turns us into slaves because the body is a terrible master.”
What happens during the battle of the mind?
As mentioned earlier, when people feel discomfort, the brain immediately suggests means of comfort. In seeking comfort, the brain takes one of two paths:
- The short route: This provides easy but unworthy satisfaction. Examples include substance and solvent abuse, smoking, pornography, masturbation, other sexual perversions, excessive social media use, etc.
- The long route: This provides worthy satisfaction but requires patience and effort. Examples include studying (Bible or books), prayer, creative actions, working on projects, developing ideas, exercise, etc.
Since man is a spirit with a soul that lives in a body, the brain’s choice in this battle reveals which aspect of our being it seeks to satisfy. If it chooses the short route, it aims to please the body. If it chooses the long route, it seeks to please the soul or spirit.
If the brain tends to please the flesh, we must then withdraw immediately and channel our energy towards any longer route at our reach if we really want to heal from that emotional injuries we are battling with or manage our emotional misbehavior properly, if not, there will be a high tendency of relapsing or continuing in our unworthy satisfaction journey.
CIRCUMSTANCES—THE COMMON REASONS WHY
The simplest answer to why people get high is circumstances. People often turn to substance abuse, solvents, or emotional misbehavior when confronted by overwhelming circumstances.
Circumstances—just a 13-letter word, yet packed with complexities that could take ages to unravel. Sometimes people encounter situations—some self-inflicted, some beyond their control—that take such a toll on them that they want to forget they happened or avoid their effects. But because the effects of these situations are a sickness of the soul, not of the body, they can be difficult to manage, avoid, or heal from.
When this becomes the case, some seek quick fixes to escape or numb the pain. However, these shortcuts often lead to dependency and addiction, trapping them in the same cycle they were fighting to avoid.
HOW TO HEAL FROM EMOTIONAL INJURIES
Some overwhelming circumstances leaves us with some dangerous emotional injuries, unhealed emotional injuries often lead to emotional misbehavior. Emotional misbehavior refers to actions or reactions driven by intense or unmanaged emotions, leading to behavior that is inappropriate, disruptive, or harmful to oneself or others (personal communication, August 16,2024)
The first step to healing from emotional injuries is to identify or answer the following questions:
- What am I running from?
- What am I trying to forget?
- What exactly is disturbing my mind?
- What stresses me out?
Believe me when I tell you that many people out there are battling with some emotional behavior and not all are aware of this, some are aware but don’t know the source, how then can one fight what he or she doesn’t know?
Once we understand these methods, we can seek healthier ways to relieve and heal from our emotional wounds. This awareness allows us to recognize when negative feelings are about to surface, and choose better paths for relief, rather than falling into the trap of emotional misbehavior.
Dopamine release
In the battle of the mind, what people truly crave is the release of dopamine. It’s this chemical that brings a fleeting sense of satisfaction, a momentary peace amid the chaos. Dopamine is more than just a neurotransmitter; it’s the messenger of pleasure, the key to feeling rewarded and alive.
While we can’t fully control when or how dopamine is released, we can influence it with simple acts like:
- Adequate exercising
- Getting enough sleep
- Practicing mindfulness and meditation
- Healthy social interaction
- Goal achievement
- Diet and nutrition, especially food with rich amino acids.
CONCLUSION
As discussed, some difficult circumstances often trigger emotional misbehavior. Unfortunately, in many parts of the world, awareness of mental health challenges is poor, leading people to neglect these issues.
Taking short routes to break free from the battles of the mind or heal emotional injuries does not work. For instance, someone struggling with love deficiency might turn to drugs, alcohol, or sex addiction in an attempt to break free. But this approach has never worked and will never be a solution. Instead, it only leads to addiction, further entrenching the very issues one seeks to escape.
The beauties of life & family 
Thank you so much for this article. Temporary reliefs like alcohol and cigarettes really never take away the problem. Like you shared, reading the Bible or a book would help better even though you might not find it easy to do at first because our brain seems to like the short route.
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