NOT A BED OF ROSES, BUT WE CAN MAKE IT A HOUSE OF HIBISCUS: Reasons Why We Must Intentionally Choose Who We Marry.

Growing up as a kid, we had a Hibiscus flower in our neighbor’s house. It was precious to us because the only flowers we had in our compound were the common Golden Duranta, some Cascabela thevetia, and some Allamanda. Whenever we had the opportunity to cut the precious Hibiscus flower, we maximized its use. We used it to cook pretend food, to decorate our friends’ hair (girls), and for children’s weddings.

At the sight of Hibiscus, it reminds me of so many things, including the time I tasted raw Hibiscus while preparing those children’s dishes.

Coming of age, I noticed that it was not only I and my friends who cherished Hibiscus flower or used it for various things. Hibiscus can be used for many purposes; it can be consumed in many forms such as tea, herbs, juice, and even to spice food. What a flower.

DID HE OR SHE CHOOSE YOU?

One thing some fail to understand is that this generation and the previous ones are not the same. A lot has changed; our culture has been influenced and diluted. So to survive these days, we must accept this fact. By doing so, we can define what we want and know how to get it.

The person you choose, did that person choose you, or did they choose another? Did you even choose that person, or do you think that marriageis something you have to do? Unlike the previous generation, for a marriage to survive in our generation, both parties must agree to make it work. You must choose, you have to choose.

One mistake people make these days is knowing what they want while dating but then choosing what is available when looking for someone to marry. Why? How will this kind of union last? Do you think what you desire doesn’t matter? Well, you will soon find out that it does. I pray you don’t find out the hard way. Doesn’t the thought that you were chosen because you were available and not because you were worth it piss you off?

WHY DO YOU WANT TO MAKE IT A BED OF ROSES THEN?

We all know that marriage is not a bed of roses, so why do we fight to make it a bed of roses?

It is not a bed of roses, but we can choose to make it a house of Hibiscus. Yes, we can make it a house of Hibiscus if we want, but to do this, both parties must agree. Praise Fowowe said in his interview at the Honest Bunch podcast, “What it takes to crash a marriage is for one person to choose not to make it work.”

One thing about the Hibiscus flower, which we discussed in the introduction, is that it can be used for different purposes and also comes in different colors. Even though we know what we want and what we are looking for, we should bear in mind that there are different dimensions to it. Choosing it means that we are willing to handle whatever nature it takes.

Hibiscus farmers don’t trash their flowers because they took on another color other than the one they desired. They continue to nurture it, knowing that even in that special color, they can still get what they want—the best.

WHY WE MUST INTENTIONALLY CHOOSE WHO WE MARRY

Due to the beautiful nature of humans, no one can tell who we really are or all that we are capable of by just spending some months or years with us. Some abilities and actions take time and trials to reveal themselves. While some know what they want, others don’t, and it takes time to figure out. 

For this reason, we must choose who we want, and among other reasons, it includes:

1.There will be no one to blame for our choice: No matter how mature an individual is, we always like to blame people or situations when things don’t go as planned, but if we made the choice, we will not blame anyone when things goes south.

2. We will face whatever comes out of our decision.

3.It will motivate us to fight for it: When we choose to do anything, consciously and unconsciously, we want to see that it works, if not for anything, to prove people wrong.

4.We will love it: Have you ever noticed that people love what they choose?

5.Etc.

Expecting your marriage to always be a bed of roses is like assuming your partner will always behave exactly as they did when you first started dating. It is only wickedness to think that someone will remain unchanged over the years or not react to different situations. Instead, we should ask ourselves, “Can I handle my partner’s changes and reactions?” After all, this relationship forms the foundation of your future and legacy, so it’s crucial to approach it wisely.

It’s unrealistic to expect your marriage to always be peaceful and perfect. Disagreements are a part of any relationship. Insisting that it must be a bed of roses will only lead to the downfall of your home instead of building it up. Choose someone whose changes you can handle and who allows you room to grow.

CONCLUSION

People tend to invest in, nurture, and build what they choose. Whoever is presented to you—by life, spiritual leader, matchmaker, family, and friends—as a life partner, make sure that in the end, you are the one that chooses your partner. 

Study, observe to know if they are what you can handle until death do you part, to know if their actions and reactions is what you can handle forever. Divorce might be an option, but believe me, there is more to life than jumping from one house to another.

#TheBattleOfTheMind 

#makeadecision 

#Family 

#intentionalmind