Tupac Amaru Shakur, better known by his stage name 2Pac, released a powerful and controversial song in 1991 called “Brenda got a baby.” In the intro of the song he said “I heard Brenda’s got a baby but Brenda barely got a brain (she was just 12) a big shame because she can hardly spell her name,” to which someone replied “thats not our problem, that’s up to Brenda’s family” he then went on to explain how it affects not just her family but the whole community.
This song still has relevance in today’s society. The influential song “Lessely,” which teaches almost the same message as “Breda got a baby,” but in a more sophisticated manner, was published in 2019 by young, talented British rapper David Micheal Orobosa, better known by his stage name Dave
This article will frequently make reference to these two major musical projects in order to comprehend the following:
- Role of parents in the life of their kids
- Effect of love deficiency in the life of children.
- Pain, anger and fear and how it affects us all.
- The fate of kids that have been through chaos.
ROLE OF PARENTS IN THE LIFE OF THEIR KIDS.
Families are the foundation of all structures since all individuals who comprise a structure were reared in one—a nuclear, extended, or foster family—before entering society, and these families are led by parents.
What these kids become is partly influenced by the lifestyle that their parents lead, either directly or indirectly. This implies that anyone who accepts the role of parent is expected to do a lot.
We all know that a parent’s primary responsibility in a child’s life is to provide for them, but Dr. Benjamin Carson highlighted something else in his book “TAKE THE RISK: Learning to identify, choose and live with acceptable risk” that I believe is missing from our society: “The most important job as parents may well be to make certain our children know who they are, what they believe and where they are going,” he stated.
Therefore, in addition to providing for their children’s fundamental necessities, parents have a responsibility to assist in the development of a solid belief system. “The most dangerous man is not the one carrying a gun, but rather the one who has no beliefs at all,” goes the saying. If kids have no beliefs, then anyone can persuade them to do anything—including the wrong things.
Parents are crucial to the advancement of society because, if they are successful in instilling in their children the correct values, they will have addressed 80% of the issues facing our society. The big question I am addressing to everyone is, what is the fate of kids who have unintentional parents and kids who have no parents?
EFFECTS OF LOVE DEFICIENCY IN THE LIFE OF THEIR CHILDREN.
Everybody needs love at some point in their lives—both to love and to be loved. In this context, I’m talking about unconditional love, and our families are the only ideal area to find this kind of love.
I am speaking of the kind of love that is selfless, forgives, corrects, heals, lets us make mistakes, and inspires us to do better. Love that also makes sacrifices. Every youngster needs love like this and more as they grow older. It is regrettable that not every child receives this kind of love.
When children don’t receive this kind of love, it has a variety of repercussions on them.
some of them according to WellBe includes:
- Attention deprivation
- Feeling unhappy or unmotivated
- Craving love and attachment
- Less risk-taking
- High susceptibility to neuroticism.
PAIN, ANGER AND FEAR AND HOW IT AFFECTS US ALL.
“An unpleasant sensation, resulting from a derangement of functions, disease, or injury by violence; hurt” is how the English dictionary defines pain. Please pay attention to the phrase “injury.”
Emotional injuries are among the types of injuries that require a prolonged healing period. Healing takes time since most people are unaware that it exists, they are unable to explain it, and as a result, they will not know how to recover (you cannot break free from shackles you are unaware exist or that you are unable to explain).
However, there are many among us who are struggling with various emotional disorders and the associated hassle. Chaos causes varied reactions in different people, but one thing always remains the same: pain.
What exposes young minds to pain?
- Being a witness to long lasting domestic violence
- Physical abuse(it can also be with words)
- Sexual abuse
- Feeling rejected due to parents separation, due to divorce of parents, poor physical abilities, low I.Q, poor background, etc.
These are the things that expose young minds to emotional disorder and then pain; we’ve also witnessed instances in which a youngster is exposed to all of these; Brenda is one such instance.
THE FATE OF KIDS THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH CHAOS.
NB: Chaos in this context means perpetual pain.
Chaos exposes one to darkness, which, if not handled with complete intentionality, will destroy the victim’s life in some manner.
In an article published in September 2022, the writer while talking about Clarence Perry (the 21 year old young man that was the father of Brenda’s baby) said and I quote “he didn’t know any better. In the Perry household, there was no line between family love and romantic love.”
The most definite fate for children who have experienced chaos is that a greater proportion of these defenseless individuals will become threats to themselves and the larger community as a result of the suffering they have experienced (some grow accustomed to it, while others even come to enjoy it).
Brenda, for instance, lost her parents and siblings when she was very young (she was just 6) which may have had an impact on her in ways she wasn’t aware of. She then moved in with her aunt, who wasn’t particularly intentional about raising children—not even her own—before becoming pregnant and giving birth at the age of twelve. What do you think is Brenda’s fate?
Thus, it’s evident that Clarence was also a victim of inadequate parenting; had he known better, he would have behaved differently. Brenda is not the only victim of dysfunctional parenting, and so are many children out there.
In Lessely’s story, we can also see the impact of a broken family. Had Lessely received all the love she needed as a child, she would not have ended up with a man like Jason; I think he would have been a better man if he had received all the support he needed from both parents as a young man. Lessely suffered from all of those wounds and pains in the name of love; love nearly cost her her life, the life of her child, and her self-confidence.
This is a call to action for all of us—parents included—as well as for society at large to work together to provide each child that comes our way with the proper care in order to protect them and our society.
The beauties of life & family 